Two and a Half Men

Season 3

2005 · 24 episodes

About

Family ties tighten and tension rises as Charlie's wild ways clash with Alan's neuroses, leading to hilarious misadventures in love, work, and parenting.

Episodes

  1. 1Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts19 Sept 2005 · 22mAfter falling off the roof, Alan needs Charlie's help in looking after Jake, which interferes with Charlie's social life.
  2. 2Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover26 Sept 2005 · 22mJake gets suspended from school after drawing an offensive picture of a girl in his class that has large breasts. Meanwhile, Charlie is asked to watch over Alan's chiropractic office after pulling an all-nighter.
  3. 3Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark3 Oct 2005 · 22mAlan has been dating a lot, and Charlie soon finds out that it has been one woman - his ex-wife, Judith. He tries to stop Alan, and even brings Rose, Evelyn and Berta to interfere - but Alan ignores them all.
  4. 4Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs10 Oct 2005 · 22mBerta causes tension between Charlie and Alan, when she temporarily moves in with them
  5. 5We Called It Mr. Pinky17 Oct 2005 · 21mCharlie learns he can't be in a long-lasting relationship, becuase of unresolved issues he has with his mother. Jake asks Charlie for advice about a girl at school.
  6. 6Hi, Mr. Horned One24 Oct 2005 · 21mIgnoring Alan's warnings, Charlie continues to date Isabella until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.
  7. 7Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop7 Nov 2005 · 22mCharlie wakes up with Rose the morning after her birthday party. Her irate father comes to ask Charlie about what the future holds for him and Rose, but the unexpected happens when Evelyn shows up.
  8. 8That Voodoo That I Do Do14 Nov 2005 · 21mCharlie tricks Jake into taking ballet lessons, so he can get close to the teacher.
  9. 9Madame and Her Special Friend21 Nov 2005 · 21mOne of Charlie's elderly neighbors tries to seduce Alan, while Charlie tries to stop Jake from giving money to a televangelist.
  10. 10Something Salted and Twisted28 Nov 2005 · 22mCharlie helps Alan with his obsession of always having to get approval from the women in his life.
  11. 11Santa's Village of the Damned19 Dec 2005 · 22mAlan starts dating a woman with a Martha Stewart complex. Before long she's running the house with an obsession for perfection.
  12. 12That Special Tug9 Jan 2006 · 22mCharlie sees a therapist to learn how to deal with Alan's emotional insecurities.
  13. 13Humiliation Is a Visual Medium23 Jan 2006 · 22mCharlie finds himself in a relationship that is not based on sex.
  14. 14Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded6 Feb 2006 · 22mCharlie arranges a romantic date with Mia in the hopes of consummating their relationship. Alan begins to date Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.
  15. 15My Tongue Is Meat27 Feb 2006 · 22mCharlie has trouble keeping up with Mia's healthy lifestyle, so he begins to sneak beers, cigars, and burgers behind her back. When Mia finds out what he was doing, Charlie has to decide if he is truly in love with her or just whipped.
  16. 16Ergo, the Booty Call6 Mar 2006 · 22mAlan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Charlie.
  17. 17The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer13 Mar 2006 · 21mCharlie is nominated for an advertising award, but he decides to boycott it because his arch nemesis always wins. The rest of his family tries to trick him into going. Rose is having relationship problems with Gordon and seeks help from Charlie.
  18. 18The Spit-Covered Cobbler20 Mar 2006 · 21mAlan starts to have financial problems when he starts paying for his girlfriend's bills, so Charlie tries to get him to break up with her. Meanwhile, Judith is after Alan because he is late in paying his alimony check.
  19. 19Golly Moses, She's a Muffin10 Apr 2006 · 22mCharlie is surprised to find out that Kandi has been living with them for the last three weeks. Alan is having a tough time helping Kandi earn a living. Charlie has lost his sense because of the dry-spell he is going through.
  20. 20Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro24 Apr 2006 · 21mAlan tries to win Kandi back. Meanwhile, Charlie starts to sleep with her mom, Mandi, and Judith gets set up with her father, Andy.
  21. 21And the Plot Moistens1 May 2006 · 21mJake's teacher has a meeting with Alan and Judith to discuss the lack of interest Jake has at school. Alan starts to fall for Francine, in a platonic way, because he is tired of the lack of intelligent communication he has with Kandi. Charlie helps Jake audition for his school musical.
  22. 22Just Once with Aunt Sophie8 May 2006 · 22mA girl from Jake's school invites him to his first boy-girl party. Charlie and Alan help him get ready for it by giving him advice. Alan and Charlie get nostalgic and remember their first boy-girl party.
  23. 23Arguments for the Quickie15 May 2006 · 22mMia comes back to town with her dance troupe and invites Charlie to her performance. At first, he decides not to go and tries to convince Alan that he no longer has feelings for her. He goes to the see the performance and Mia explains that she wants some of Charlie's sperm. Charlie responds by asking Mia for something.
  24. 24That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite22 May 2006 · 21mCharlie and Mia start making their wedding arrangements. Things begin to fall apart when their two families meet each other. They eventually decide on a small ceremony in Las Vegas.